pesto

i dreamed i was writing a book about mushrooms and i wanted to put you on the cover. either there's no irony or i dont want to share it.

i hate it when people say, when you try to do something and fail, "well, you should feel good about it because you did your best!". what does that have to do with anything? is it doing the best thats the purpose instead of just an enhancement of the way to getting there?! its like me, with the bus, every day. i feel its killing me , btw. really! all the pressure i feel when i'm at the last crossing before the bus stop, my heart rushing like mad, what if i miss it, what if i miss it. my heart wont make it, what if i miss it, what if i miss it. sometimes i do. but i never say "letzu, give yourself a clap, you did your best". mostly because i've given up the habit of talking to myself, but also because i'm pretty self conscious about my clapping.

still, the bus is out to get me.
(to office. and back.)