it wasnt so much the actual perspective, it was a more inward process. ok, basically, i was scared out of my wits before doing it. i wanted to scream "i doooont want to do it" several times. i mean it. i think i even did a few times. i wanted to plead for my life and for sure, if tears came out, we would have gone back or at least my descent would have happened by the jeep that took us up in the first place and not hanging from a piece of cloth with an indian guy on my back.
even though i didnt want to do it more than i wanted to do it, i did it. i felt like if i face this fear i face every fear i have and some sort of magic mechanism would trigger. and it did. i feel braver, stronger, more independent... all these things that india took away a little bit in my first month here. i call it magic because i think its an amazing thing, you can give it some name from psychology and be boring.
i'll be that too, actually, and continue to rant about my big realization. ok? ok. ok. ok thank you. ok. ooookkkkk, thank you. i was thinking (but not over-thinking) about how everything around can be very complex, complicated, impossible for us to do or, on the other hand, just plain worth trying to do, even if you might fail. its all about how you look at it. from now on, officially, i go with the latter one. i realized i was telling myself and the world "live in the moment, do what feels right, stop worrying about everything, go with the flow" and while the world might have been listening, i know for sure i wasnt, what i was doing was complicating things, over-analyzing and, in the end, filling up my head with a truckload of un-useful information (improperly called information, more accurately described as speculation).
so here's to simple things, like love. or genetics. or life. :>
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