fuck you, cancer!

if any of you ever said life sucks repent now. i am. life doesn't suck. death does. so it goes.

i worked with coco in the same team. we were more than team mates. we were friends. one time, when i was feeling down (and stupidly felt its the end of the world), coco gave me these little green pieces of paper which i spread in the room when i was running for president, 9 months back. i couldnt believe he kept them for so long, but he did, and gave them to me as a sign of support that we was already showing anyway, but giving me those just made it so much more special and i still have them. i wanted to give them back to him when the time was right, when i heard he was sick, but i didnt get to. i loved coco and i think he was a great person, he was full of life, enthusiasm, craziness, kindness and love. and i mean it. he was the kindest and most loving person i met. in my life. in my whole 25 years on this very strange planet.

yesterday i read these words: "coco is no longer". i froze in front of the computer. in disbelief. but my reaction is of little importance and absurd, anyway. coco really is no longer. the most kind, fun and loving person i ever met is gone. at the age of 23. how does the world make sense? it doesn't. but he's in my heart, he will always be in my heart, even when it will get rusty and days when i won't even think of coco will come. in my heart, on my blog, and in so many other hearts, i know it.

my dad, before he died, wrote in my notebook "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". that's when i decided: no more plans. just taking it a little bit at a time. you might think it's impulsive, i think it's the way i want to tackle life.

whenever i'll hear someone saying life sucks i will slap them. that is my commitment. i swear. i will slap them so hard they won't know what hit them.

coco, i will miss you a lot. i hope you can read this.

and cancer, fuck you. you're the dumbest, meanest thing i ever got the chance to know.