Monday, July 01, 2013

why not sneeze, Patti Eadielisan?

imagine you suddenly feel removed from yourself
you can't
it's senseless
why it happened to me i don't know
i wasnt suddenly removed, i just suddenly felt as if i was removed from myself
and always had been
and never noticed
as if i wasnt sure i was living 
or not living 
guessing i must at least be alive

this uncertainty means she has too much time on her hands, said the gentleman who was just passing by walking his past, tense

i do
i have open time on my hands
it's so heavy i need to sit it on my lap
slap slap
all this open time that lets me look into it -
that lets me look into things
that lets me look into me
this i dont-know-who i've seen a million times
scary like porky pig's dog-canary 
(not scary-scary but more like "why don't you do something? - well, i can't tell you"
"can you sing? - no, but i do" "please, stop - please, start")

 it's not easy being this dog. i feel like this dog, disguised as a standalone human, i feel both like this dog and like a human designed to function independently. 

design vs. application.
intent + dissent.  
screaming and kicking. 
chasing my tail.
i'm chasing my tail.
do not disturb.