I actually wanted to send you a big awesome gift from India, and I even had the right ingredients for it, but by the time i got home it was already late and no fairy came to visit me although she could have, i mean, if they really existed they would totally know how much i wanted to send you that gift and how much you wanted to receive it, then my mom called me for dinner and afterwards i fell asleep and i woke up late today and realized it's your birthday. so i said screw the fairies, i'm moving to plan b.
That's when the movie came into play. I decided to make you a movie. a movie is always nice and gives a personal touch like nothing else does. and i had this awesome idea and i had even found a song, you know, the perfect song that says in a funny quirky way that you're amazing and a friend i love so much and i wanted to make it really personal but if i did that then i couldnt post it on those social networks, and you have to post it there, otherwise people won't acknowledge what an awesome person you are for receiving such beautiful and touching messages from afar. and that's 50% of the deal. so, being the perfectionist i am, i could not accept that. No way.
Of course, pressured by time and by the need to make an amazing contribution to your birthday happiness, i panicked. I had some pasta to calm down and then i took a nap, i read somewhere it helps you relax and come up with solutions and when i woke up i was still drowsy so i knocked down some vase my mom had next to the bed so i had to spend around 2 hours putting it back together and i got so angry cause it took so long and it wasn't good enough and then i remembered that fuck, i didnt do anything for anna's birthday. so i thought, ok, last resort, an awesome e-card. it will send the right message and it will get there in no time. but before i got to the computer i realized that i couldnt just go with the first pick and once i start looking through all the cards available i will get even more confused and distracted in my search for the perfect one for you and i would have eventually ended up browsing like crazy through thousands of e-cards and choosing none. NONE.
And you might think what kind of perfectionist does she thinks she is if she doesn't finish stuff and can't even send me an e-card on my birthday or even that awesome gift from India? But you know, Anna, I really dont need you to get all judgmental on me right now, and plus, that's exactly what a perfectionist is, someone who is unable to complete a task to perfection just because perfect is unattainable. It's like Sisyphus. Sort of. So thanks for all the pressure you put on me today. Thanks. Really. And I know now you're thinking, OMG, she's so whiny, why am i even friends with her?
You can imagine I spent the rest of the day contemplating my failures and psychoanalyzing myself quite a bit, as a consequences of my hypothesis of your judgements on me. So you know what? Screw birthdays.
But happy birthday.
And really lots of love. :)
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