Tuesday, June 15, 2010

a mango week

i'm down to my last week in india. for now. it's sure that i'll come back, but just as girls with big hair and ugly denim jackets that no one thought would come back in style but did sighed when the 80s were over, here i am, on a balcony in delhi, thinking it's the end of an era. and sighing. regularly.

so even though i'll come back, i'm leaving now, and this makes me sad. so don't tell me to enjoy this last week as much as possible, cause it's hell. i shed a tear everytime i think of that 20 seconds of walking inside the airport. and as much as i dont want to leave, i really want it all to be over as soon as possible.

i know so many people who have left and i know all the symptoms, all the things that you could possibly miss, all the pain and joy that you can feel, all the flashbacks that can haunt you when you think you're happy to go back home.

and i'm not ready for any of those. i'm not ready to leave. the pocket where i keep all the people and places i love is getting too heavy. seriously. how do i say goodbye to everything? to all the awesome people who are still here, to all the awesome people who have left but somehow are still so much connected to this place that deserve a proper goodbye?

mm, ok, maybe a theme party and a poker face.