i wanna marry a lighthousekeeper

sunt in danemarca de 6 luni. si mai stau inca 7. asta inseamna 13. in total. fatidic. m-a batut gandul tare de tot sa mai stau inca 12 pe langa alea 13, sa fac 25 si sa para mai complex, cel putin matematic. dar am descoperit ca gandul care ma batea sa mai stau era un gand al altcuiva, nu al meu, al cuiva care vrea ceva comfortabil si linistit, si eu nu mai recunosc ca sunt acel cineva. vreau aventuri noi, vreau sa-mi fie frica, vreau sa nu am curaj sa vorbesc cu toti oamenii noi din jurul meu, vreau sa fac ceva ce habar n-am sa fac, sa-mi dau o data seama ce-mi place cu adevarat, daca exista asa ceva. daca nu, am sa ma marit cu un lighthouse keeper and live by the side of the sea. si in mod ironic, intr-o seara, dupa ce am scris 10 pagini mediocre la cartea la care lucrez de 5 ani, ma plimb pe plaja si gasesc o comoara si il parasesc si ma duc in lume si imi termin cartea mediocra si ma bucur de insucces si imi cumpar o casa la tara si devin mizantrop. sau detectiv.

poate pentru prima oara de cand sunt in AIESEC am sa termin cu inceputul chestiilor si am sa incep sa termin. si am sa ma simt fericita, adormita, obosita.

si am sa merg in vacanta. de vrais!

A pained elitist.

Because i'm still into shifting probability, i wanted to make this post full of amazingly great stuff. then i remembered no one reads here. and i didnt do it.

but anagrams are cool and wicked.

Stay inside.

cherry mristhmas y'all.
whatever. :)

Dolce far niente

We either suffer from minimalism or the financial crunch bit it's way into everything. Seems like everybody is just waiting for some special devices that will help us wash faster, eat faster, read faster, watch movies faster, play faster, work faster, love faster, live faster, die faster...just to get a bit of eternal rest. Cause life is complicated and overtiring.

If i'd meet someone who could stop this i'd tell him: listen, i'll trade you half of my ego, let's take it easy.

However, i like the montage. Its the idea behind it that scares me.

all the chickens are running wild

am auzit ca avem timp pentru ambitii si boli, sa invinovatim destinul si amanuntele.
chiar vroiam sa merg sa cumpar scaune si ca un copil netot visam la ziua asta ca la o zi calda de vacanta cand te plimbi de nauc cu bicicleta pe strazi aburinde. si n-am mers si sunt trista si n-o sa imi treaca si gata.

pesto

i dreamed i was writing a book about mushrooms and i wanted to put you on the cover. either there's no irony or i dont want to share it.

i hate it when people say, when you try to do something and fail, "well, you should feel good about it because you did your best!". what does that have to do with anything? is it doing the best thats the purpose instead of just an enhancement of the way to getting there?! its like me, with the bus, every day. i feel its killing me , btw. really! all the pressure i feel when i'm at the last crossing before the bus stop, my heart rushing like mad, what if i miss it, what if i miss it. my heart wont make it, what if i miss it, what if i miss it. sometimes i do. but i never say "letzu, give yourself a clap, you did your best". mostly because i've given up the habit of talking to myself, but also because i'm pretty self conscious about my clapping.

still, the bus is out to get me.
(to office. and back.)

superstition

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

crisis hotline

i know i'm old because TCM is playing Look Who's Talking Now. The movie was made in 93. I'm confused. Or just old. Ask no questions and forget about my birthday. Actually, scrap that last one, you're never too old for a lot of great presents. :)

apocalipsa gonflabila

10 septembrie - ipotetico-absurdo-panichistic - ultima zi pe pamant

in fine, acceleratorul de particule se pare ca a produs efecte secundare pana in legoland, nu eram acolo, dar cumva ceva a reflectat si transportat un efect secundar direct la mine in brate, inainte de soarele de dupa-masa, care a ajuns ca un efect tertiar care m-a facut sa:

*merg la biblioteca - care fapt m-a bucurat nespus din urmatoarele motive: numar nelimitat de carti/muzica/filme pe care le poti lua acasa, rapiditate!!!, primit lista cu toate chestiile imprumutate, inclusiv data returnarii, pana la 28 de zile de lafait in imprumuturi.

*alerg de bunavoie, intr-o tentativa de jogging - care fapt m-a epuizat si m-a facut nesigura vis-a-vis de felul in care alerg (simt ca ceva nu e in regula, poate felul in care tin mainile... niciodata nu am stiut ce sa fac cu ele).

*cred ca pot sa fiu structurata, serioasa, ordonata si sa am un stil de viata sanatos, doar ca nu vreau - care fapt m-a facut sa ma bucur ca pot sa fac ce alegeri vreau, ca am optiuni.

pot sa fac orice.
chiar si supa.

poti sa cazi azi

sunt intr-o pasa absolut muzicala, insemnand ca singurul lucru care face tot ceea ce e in jur sa se lege e muzica. ascult pofticios si nerabdator, lacom pe alocuri, ceea ce m-ar arunca direct pe raftul cu ascultatori imaturi daca nu as fi deja acolo.



maybe someone's gonna save me
my heart is made of gravy

now that i know...

in a common (these days) sugar or spice rush i checked off another thing from my list. i'm quite proud, not only because i checked it off, but also because of the execution, which, in my opinion, was impeccable. i went down the escalator which was going up, while some metro guard person was watching. i made the snap decision, then i skillfully turned around, looked in the direction of the metro guard person, smiled for myself and started going back/jumping down with the moves of a ballerina who hasnt practiced for some time and is a bit out of shape but still has a sort of gracefulness. :) it was the bees knees. :)


now that i know... what else is there?

if they stick they will drown you in a creek

its been a couple of week of offline blogging and i must say i quite enjoy that. got my little diary sort of book and i'm looking forward to reading it when maybe my heart will be like gravy.

life is sweet, hershey sweet.

i heart today

mondays usually suck and this one was no different, judging by the weather. usually buying stuff cheers up my materialistic self, so i did that, and it didnt do anything. and i bought so much crap, too. :/ but then, dragging myself from the metro station home i stopped by the supermarket to get some bare necessities and just on the vegetables aisle i walk by him. i'm thinking i must be imagining things, Copenhagen is huge, it can't be him. then he turns around and i see him again. It's him! it's really really HIM! not HIM, but him, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, just my favorite danish actor whos movies i've seen and thought "this guy is awesome... maybe i'll meet him one day... what would i say to him? naaah... i'll never meet him!" and then i did meet him. i simply loved all the movies he was in. loved them! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! half way home, still smiling cause he was right behind me at the register, i felt this wave of discontent - i had settled for too little. i should've told him i like him a lot, i've seen his movies, i love his movies, he's cool. i'm sure it would've been nice and he surely would have appreciated a foreigner complimenting him. even if he didnt, who cares, he would have at least pretended.
but since we buy stuff at the same supermarket, i'll just become a regular there, looking casually customerish while wandering through the aisles and i'll actually get to talk to him at one point.

most of you noobs have no idea who i'm talking about, so you cant understand. i'm not looking for understanding, i'm just uber excited.

p.s. then i could enjoy what i bought as well. it's some pretty nice shit.
note to self: when gloomy, go back to today. :D

wickend wisdom

Calvin, one of my personal heroes, once stated: "Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." The properties of the whole apply to the part, thus saturdays (which are a part of the "weekend") don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. Which i did.

First i searched through a butload of buttons.
Then i didnt glue them together, i superglued the together.
Then i watched some cartoons.
Then i decided i will be making broaches.
Then i made the broaches.
Then i decided to go into business.
Then i made a logo.
Then i got bored and decided not to go into business.
Then i wondered why would anyone read this.

make fun, not war

TIFF should happen in Sibiu. dixit.

so, nice weather?!

i just love to talk about the weather. it's 10 bricks of a solid conversation. i'd rather do anything else, but besides that, its quite enjoyable.

yesterday was a day of such tremendous quality, a day of mischievous pondering and ahas. my reads and the movie i saw led me to important conclusions that will serve people as learning for centuries. or centaurs. probably not, but it least it was fun. or whatever.

we all now (or at least i know) that childhood is all about games, cartoons and not wanting to wear the silly hat your grandma makes you wear if you stay in the sun. related to the childhood games, there's the thought (the individual belief, for now) and the explanation to why spending the first years of your life playing with friends who are boys builds self esteem: as the girl, sometimes you win and you win to a boy and even when you lose (at hoops or soccer) its still cool, cause you lose to a boy, playing a game you dont even like. the situation is psotive also for the boy, cause you most of the time win - you're playing with a girl who mostly runs away from the ball than towards it (that being my particular case) - but the essential part is that you win.
so mixed childhood friendships are not only life-long but also character and esteem building. :)



i also realised how much i like people, they keep their hopes alive to disguise how naive they are. i mean yeah, i believe in Santa, but thinking one can understand human behaviour, clustered on genders, is just super silly to absurd. i've always taken a keen interest in the webstats on my blog, for personal amusement only. recently, someone ended up here searching "the behaviour of boys in love", which brings me to my point, someone is so naive not only to believe that they could find such answers with a google search, but especially to think that they could really figure that out & understand such matters.



although all the "scientific breakthrough", i was still a bit pissed that after i die i wouldn't be able to know what happens in the world, and i'm really curious. that's my biggest, darkest thought related to death. and i realized, in my pseudo-sorrow, that people will continue living after i'm dead (except if my cause of death is a giant meteorite hitting the earth right in the kisser). in my self-centered universe, that's how things go.

for more insight into this post and to put aside all confusion, please check out this previous one.

you'll never guess who i ran into on the way to

wish i had some cherries left, with my good mood i'd share them.
just another eternal kid.

so what?

groucho marx said once "i've had a perfectly wonderful day, but this wasnt it.", and he was right, except for today. allergy treatment a-ok, ergo full day spent outside. nobody loves summer as much as i do. nobody.

10 ways to meet a monster

(pastafarianism and cake)

home. mid-day. cake. discovery science. show about monsters. cake gone. mothman 1st place. mothman #1 monster (?!?!). cake gone. take attitude. mothman #1.

The Personal Supreme TOP 5 Monster Top (in no particular order)

#1 the other ultimate religion
#2 the friendly fiends
#3 hi, i'm baked
#4 the ultimate religion
#5 your own little collection of ex boyfriends



bitter-free sucks anyway.

an apple a day

(makes you poop in the hay? :))



doctor's order. or doctor's humor? :D

rattling the tea cups

(din corespondentele tinerei l.)

15.06.2006
scumpa s.,
(fac epistola sa sune like on paper one hundred years ago :)),

majoritatea baietilor este ca lumea si exista si o categorie de baieti naspa de tot, prin nascare. excluzand posibilitatea ca m. sa faca parte din a doua categorie si implicit bagandu-l in prima (si prin alte locuri pentru o usoara senzatie de racorire a nervilor :P), trebuie sa mentionez faptul ca baietii din prima categorie pot avea comportamente similare cu cele ale confratilor lor din a doua, in situatii de plictis relational, cand sunt nesiguri pe ei (gen au o criza existentiala), cand sunt excesiv de imaturi si habar nu au ce vor de la viata (si atunci schimba tot timpul tot, fara logica) sau cand o relatie este pe moarte, cand the thing is gone, si se intampla, mai ales in situatia de imaturitate absoluta.

m. e intr-o perioada de coolitate absolut indispensabila. s-ar putea sa ma insel. poate ca lasa sa moara relatia ca sa nu se faca vinovat de ucidere.

[...]nimeni nu e indispensabil, asta ti-ai dovedit-o si tu cu b., despre care credeai verzi si uscate ca nu poate fi altul care sa ii ia locul atat de bine. bratele sunt niste chestii foarte flexibile si cu putin efort ai putea sa strecori pe oricine acolo.

[...] eu chiar cred ca te poti schimba pentru persoana pe care o iubesti, dar atata timp cat schimbarea vine de la tine. si daca nu vine, oricum nu inseamna ca nu o iubesti, ci ca esti mai indaratnic, asa, ca mine. :D

spor tie, concetrate on the good things, si abia astept sa iti vad cuibul si sa iti cunosc colega de apartament ca sa o evaluez la sange. :P

salutari si de la M..
take care and let me know of how are your stuff going,

l.

and yet again, my earthly, simple wisdom saved the day.
they say you look back to your younger self and laugh. i know i do. auzi, sa te schimbi pentru persoana pe care o iubesti! bahaha! :P

truth bites - dixieland dog

recently we discovered the truth that was biting for some time: my odie-like friend got fleas. good reason to end a friendship but we decided to take him to the vet instead. he got the whole shabang, flea collar, injections and a trim. apparently it takes 2 weeks for the creatures to disappear completely and it seems to me fiends turn into friends for the mutt: it's like he has a new crowd to play with. i was hoping he'd train them to become this great dixie band just like in that droopy episode, but it ain't gonna happen. its hard to achieve success when you eat your team mates.

i'll get over it by starting a book of "pensées" where i can publish my last sentence.

swedish humour

so we're on this bus taking us to the airport.
i wanna sleep so bad.
i'm cranky cause that's what i do in the morning.
we get to the airport.
the bus driver picks up his microphone and says: hope you have a nice vacation or a safe trip back home or whatever.
whatever? ;))
it was 4 a.m., he must've been tired.

it was awesome, but i do like denmark more. :D

maturator de praf de stele

si ce daca ar trebui sa ma bucur pentru un nou inceput?!

neajunsurile vremii/vremurilor

cum toţi norii, dincolo de linia argintie, au mult mult mult cenuşiu, aşa-i şi cu căldura de afară. cenuşiul este pentru nor ce este mitocanul pentru vremea faină de primăvară. de la replici de un stupid inefabil până la onomatopee sâsâite, repertoriul lor este restrâns şi redundant. fără să studiez în amănunt cazul, cred că majoritatea suferă cel puţin de un retard social.

schema de mai jos reprezintă comportamentul firesc al unui astfel de mascul. afectat de puseuri de imaginaţie, are nevoie să verifice şi să valideze informaţiile primite care sunt procesate mult prea rapid de creier.



pasul 1 palma-n fund :)
pasul 2 privirea-nainte
pasul 3 întoarcere la 90 de grade
pasul 4 privirea-n pământ şi procesarea finală

cow dung flung

"we will fight for bovine freedom and hold our large heads high"

even though the stakes are high, check out cows with guns. :)

the opposite of so last tuesday

a new art wave. its happening. i know nothing about art, except for whats perceivable and intuitive, but i believe it will be big. accidental art. read more here to understand what i'm talking about.

so, shall we start planning on it? ;)

quite so(rcastic)

people have invented a lot of cool stuff. sarcastic haikus are my newest praise. :)

It's Evolution!
People are getting smarter!
God has told me so!

and if you don't get it, maybe you should start with LEARNING HOW TO RECOGNIZE IRONY. apparently it's possible. ehm.

fear of the known

long ago i had this boredom treatment that worked, i used to decode messages from the future using only my winamp playlist. the game was easy. you need a partner. you say something about them (like "what will happen to your diploma paper") and then the number of songs you skip to get to the answer (a random number, not too big, though).
then you click, listen and interpret. :) i still remember limu's face when her tune related to some matters of the heart was "my dying bride". that is history, anyway. :P

anyhu, i discovered there are a lot of winamp psychic readers, we could even form a cult like that scientology baloney and really take over the world. :)
so we're 2 so far, and she's much more structured than i am. :)



I did play her game. The results are quite intriguing...

1. How are you feeling today? Mono - Life in Mono
(it was a pretty boring day, didnt go to LTS anymore...)
2.Will you get far in life? Janis Joplin - Trust Me
(i do, you died from an overdose, but you rocked!)
3. How do your friends see you? Mike Oldfield - Muse
(that's really unexpected, i dont know what to say :))
4.Will you get married? Bob Dylan - Bye and Bye
(its either a no or i will do it two times and divorce each time)
5.What is your best friend’s theme? Pink Floyd - The Dog of War
6. What is the story of your life? Mahalia Jackson - What Child is this
(is this a genius child or what? :P)
7. What was high school like? The Pierces - Power of...
8. How can you get ahead in life? Koop - Different You
(of course, i knew that, by being someone else)
9. What is the best thing about your friends? Nicu Alifantis - Vino Noaptea
(i dissaprove of that!)
10. What is in store for this weekend? The Fratellis - Ole Black'n'Blue Eyes
11. What song describes you? Moby - Why DOes my Heart Feel So Bad
12. To describe your grandparents? Bing Crosby - Merry Christmas
13. How is your life going? of Montreal - If i Faltered Slightly Twice
("You're the biggest lie of all I told to myself / And now we're being honest" *cough cough*)
14. What song will they play at your funeral? Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - My Favorite Things
i'm actually excited about this :). i really hope someone will remember to do that!
15. How does the world see you? Iggy Pop - Baby
16. Will you have a happy life? Fun Lovin Criminals - Summer Wind
(summer wind sounds like fun, some kind of dolce vita. stop daydreaming?)
17. Do people secretly lust after you? Portishead - Pearl
(the song starts with "I want you", oh, but how do we interpret that?!)
18. How can I make myself happy? Shaggy - Summertime
(by deleting the shaggy songs)
19. What should you do with your life? Iggy Pop - I'm Sick of You
(this is actually a message from beneath saying stop screwing around with data from the future! i got it. no more.)

;))

va rog nu mancati daneze!

azi am mancat o daneza. cu ciuperci. nu vedeam ce scrie pe placuta ca era stramba si am cerut, grobian, "o chestie din aia cu ciuperci". vanzatoarea m-a corectat: "o daneza". inca nu mi-e clar de ce s-ar numi o placinta cu ciuperci daneza. imi cer scuze poporului danez pentru ca am mancat daneza. nici macar nu era buna.


s-ar putea sa merg la mare. e ca-n reclama.
letzu pleaca in vacanta.

i'm glad i hitched my apple cart to your store

i do love comics. THEY make the world go round. not love, not pain, not goodness. COMICS! especially those who portray human characteristics as the ones above in the sarcastic and brilliant way xkcd does.







i never saw grapefruit like this before. i feel silly for ever eating it!

need vs want

despre destinul intepator al unui bursuc de gradina care se credea nemuritor

naiva sau nu, ma intrebam pe vremuri lucruri la care azi stiu raspunsul. raspunsul e chiar in fata ochilor. dragostea e un bursuc de gradina.

stela e artista

"ne-a nins sub talpi, in caietele de matematica si pe tastatura. doar ca oricat am umbla nu ne raman in spate urmele."

bravo, stela! bravo! imi placi.

lonesome no more

"dragostea e acolo unde o gasesti. mi se pare o prostie sa te apuci sa o cauti si cred ca de multe ori e otravitoare.
as prefera ca oamenii care, conform conventiilor, se presupune ca ar fi indragostiti, atunci cand se cearta sa-si spuna: "te rog - un pic mai putina dragoste si un pic mai mult bun-simt elementar!"

il iubesc pe vonnegut. post-mortem, fireste.

portocale afabile sau delir febril

nu multa lume stie asta, dar un catel vagabond nu poate face diferenta intre o portocala si un grapefruit. un catel vagabond e ca un om bolnav, care si-a pierdut gustul. iar un om bolnav e ca un catel vagabond. nu orice fel de catel vagabond, ci tipul istet si simpatic, dar care a nimerit rau. evident, nu orice om bolnav e tipul acesta de caine vagabond cum nu orice catel vagabond e asemenea unui om bolnav. boala e de obicei de inima, nu e fatala, poate fi si o raceala, chiar si numai febra, iar daca inima e bolnava catelul e asemenea omului. de fapt omul e asemenea catelului. cu toate ca e istet si simpatic, familia care-l avea nu-l mai vrea, fie e vorba de un pusti mofturos care s-a plictisit, fie de o mama obsedata de praf, par si alte lucruri insignifiante pentru ochi, fie de amandoi sau de niciunul, ci doar un context nefavorabil. in unele cazuri s-a semnalat nazdravania cainelui pe fondul unei lipse de umor a gazdelor. acesta mi se pare, neoficial, cel mai trist. si astfel cainele ramane singur, confuz, asemenea omului bolnav de raceala, inima, febra, dinti, raceala, ochi, nas, maini, picioare, buric, urechi, sprancene, limba. limba e de vina pentru toate bolile. ea le-a inventat si ea nu face diferenta intre portocale si pere. adica grapefruit.ea e de vina mai ales pentru bolile de inima, insa doctorii tin sa ascunda asta. daca n-am avea limba nu am mai suferi de inima, dar nici nu am putea spune nimanui cat de fericiti suntem. am fi fost. am fost. vom fi.

overs II

nu mi-e dor de mare. cred ca e o mutatie adolescentina sa fii indragostit de mare. am fost, e drept. patetic, o salutam in fiecare an si suspinam prosteste gandindu-ma la ea. la naiba, e doar o gramada de apa.

poate doar nu mi-e sete.

mind over matter (adica supara-te pe materie)

dincolo de faptul ca nu despre asta vroiam sa scriu, dar se potriveste pentru ca vreau, as dori sa mentionez ceva. inca nu stiu ce, dar cand voi sti, o voi face cu siguranta.

poti sa te superi pe materie, esti indreptatit 100%, mai ales cand este vorba de materia cenusie, a ta sau a celorlalti. as vrea sa cred tot 100% ca a avea o minte simpla, poate chiar retrograda in anumite aspecte, care nu te lasa sa actionezi decat pe baza de instinct sau impuls, fara sa poti acorzi lucrurilor atentia necesara intelegerii consecintei/consecintelor complexitatii lor, te dezvinovateste. dar nu cred asta cu adevarat. cred ca un om inteligent (am uitat sa precizez ca e vorba de fiinte inteligente) poate fi dezvinovatit intr-o asemenea situatie doar daca arunci in carca vointei si caracterului sau atribute si intentii negative. si atunci este vinovat de ceva mai grav, numit adesea "rea intentie".

intr-o vreme in care cred in conspiratii pozitive ale universului si altele mai putin pozitive ale semenilor, as putea sa sustin ca lucrurile se balanseaza firesc. as putea, dar evit. ma consolez si amuz prin intrebuintarea cuvantului "strasnic". Il declar, pentru o perioada de cel putin o luna, cuvantul meu preferat.

extra starts at no extra cost.

si ironia sau o ruda mai indepartata de-a ei face ca noul hot spot din oras pe care il frecventez, hot spot mai ales in sens wirelessistic dar nu numai, sa fie balconul de langa ghena de gunoi de la etajul blocului meu, singurul loc unde mai am semnal. ma amuz la gandul ca m-ar putea vedea vecinii cu un calculator in brate in acel loc si s-ar putea gandi la o mie de chestii, dintre care cea mai probabila ar fi cu siguranta si foarte banala.

ah, si sa nu uit de late society, pe ai carei membri ii salut cu netarmurita stima si ii rog sa nu uite de tropice. vor uita, pentru ca nu citesc aici.

(spune nu.)