like a fish on a bicycle

down with idealism, at least for one day. down with obstinate dreams. at least for one day. down with impossible is nothing. at least for one day.

since my redescovery of biking while in Copenhagen and my complete love for the contraption (i.e. bike), i decided that i would take my good habit with me, wherever i may go. Since i set foot in the home land i dreamed of riding my sweet new bike and getting that feeling of freedom again. but now, on my return from the first ride in the city, i need to take 100 deep breaths, not drink coffee for the next week and wash my fowl mouth.

it's been a ride from hell and those who think i always exaggerate are right, i am bit, but i couldnt say a ride from purgatory cause that's pretty still. however, my hogwash tendencies need to be disregarded for this time, just for this one time, as they are really really insignificant. it was a ride from hell! chaos ruled. weird remarks about my bike or my helmet flew by like the wacky racers. stopping every now and then cause there are no gradients in the sidewalk (you can't imagine how bothersome that is with 20cm high sidewalks!!) or almost having my heart stop cause of cars driving by so close on the street. cars honking, coming from all sides, wasnt even a rush hour. pfuuu...


if i ever become dictator i'll make huge bike lanes in all cities and ban cars, then force people to listen to cat power. if she can calm me now... ;)

idealism died today. it will be dead for the next minute, no more.

it's not the color

"I think of you in blue and gray
Sometimes you are my sunny day.

The gray seems dusty, but it is
a dear, sweet memory freeze.

You're very much of that right now
a memory of sparks and how
a girl who had a sugar rush
began to fall in love and blush.

This memory will soon be gone
make place for "now", dressed in chiffon,
and the girl with the sugar rush
will hold your hand in utter gush."

leave the gun, take the cannoli

I'm in the mood for one thing, and one thing only, in what regards movies.

Mr. Pink: You kill anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
Mr. White: Just cops.

Must've been too quiet at the pool today. ;)

tidy up, music lover

my enthusiasm for organizing things has grown bigger and bigger. whatever caused it will be analysed later by someone with some sort of degree while i'll be sitting comfortably in a chair or even lying on a sofa, so dont worry about it.

however, my enthusiasm about what i've found this morning is very unlikely evened by anything else that could happen today. just to give a bit of background, decided to spend the hottest day so far in romania (and my second one here) in the lovely breeze of my mom's AC, by working on my relationship with my computer.

me, i really love to have the album art/cover shown in my player. it gives me something extra to connect to, appreciate or not, may be the little kinesthetic learner in me. :) so for him, i found this. Its called Album Art Aggregator and it helps put a face on your albums. it searches on amazon&co and so far it's been only one obscure little album that it couldn't find the cover of. i love it with caramel on top!

it looks like this. :>

but the coup de foudre of the day was Jaangle! I was looking for the perfect music player for sooo sooo long, ever since winamp gave up on me long ago, i've tried vlc, windows media player, windows media center, itunes... nothing gave me all that i wanted. but who says you can't have it all in one man?! someone who obviously settled for less. Im not saying Jaangle is the best, I'm saying it really is the best for me IN EVERY WAY and i just love the little transparent player that you have on top of everything once you minimize. :>


no time to be awed at my sudden need for order, gotta go clean up my gmail.

bah!

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea

e.e. cummings

and the song that plays in my head, heart, ears and cheekbones is
this one. so i'm home. no wrapping of anything else but presents,
no packing of anything else but luggage. and this level of emotional i
'm at sucks. its heart-aching, but not all the way to make something
good come out of it.


fuck, i'll really miss denmark. and when i say denmark, i mean so much more...

relationship dynamics

sometimes i think about stuff out of compassion, because i'm imagining no one really thinks of these things so might as well do it myself. last night i thought about how girls have a dynamic limit while boys have a static or lethargic limit.

i will briefly explain my new theory.
let's take girls. girls will never date a guy who is an inferior specimen to any guys they've previously dated. therefore, their lower limit on dating is dynamic and increasing, as it's constantly goes up.
boys, on the other hand, have a basic set of features they scan through any potential new date and if there is a match any other extra features or lack of features won't be a criteria for dismissal. the basic set of features is their lowest limit, the basic pack which they can't do without. then again, some of the extra features some girl has might suddenly make it to the basic feature package, which will make their limit go a bit up.

but then again, i know girls who didnt stick to my theory. as for boys, its even harder to prove. that's how i realized all this doesn't matter and is completely left to free will. or free willy. ;)

you might say: i know this doesnt make sense, but wouldnt it be cool if it did? and the answer is NO. eventually this would mean the older you get (and the lower the pool of potential dates gets) the bigger your expectations, if not requirements, get. which leaves you in a situation people have been writing about for hundreds of years, foremost known as "shit". or "irreversible blues", for the ones who don't speak french. :)

how cool is what?

"He was a serious fellow but he could make me laugh because a truth first encountered can be very funny. When someone else's truth is the same as your truth, and he seems to be saying it just for you, that's great."

C. Bukowski, Ham on Rye

Some books I really want to read, must be the need for some upper levels of social acceptance, but I get stuck on the 2nd page. Its always the 2nd. Or the 3rd. Other books I can't let go of. I will soon find out why and it will be like the glue to my macaroni. :)
(photo by martin o'neil)
Captain Kurt, I will always love you for reasons that might sometimes be confused with macaroni.

thus far...

...i think i'm really lucky.

later edit: same search for "my life is..." will bring interesting results with a majority of searches for "my life is over" which can be reinterpreted in the search as starting over.

then the searches for "my boyfriend/girlfriend is..." really make you think. or just wonder. maybe wander.

searches are manipulative.