disclaimer: however tempted you are to consider this a prejudiced post, it's merely a few observation of a simpleton, so refrain. :>
only and itself
indians use the words "only" and "itself" like i never heard before. to the question "where do you live?" indians will probably reply "in delhi only" or "in delhi itself". leaves you thinking you didnt hear well, but then, after you hear it over and over again, you realize it's just indian english.
"i put it there only". makes sense? it will if you discard the "only".
this is a printscreen of an indian website. see the abuse of only? i find it painfully beautiful. :)
v and w
i dont mean volkswagen. i mean the letters "v" and "w", which you'd always pronounce in a soft way for "w" and a sharper way for "v". unless you're german, in which case you probably don't have a sense of humor and you pronounce "w" like "v" and "v" like "f". indians are not so complicated, they just switch "v" and "w" completely. it seems innocent, but it gets confusing. eg: in this strange indian english, "vile" is pronounced like "while".
it doesn't really bother me. wait, it does.
indians don't talk on the phone, they talk to the phone. they answer it by keeping it near to their ear, but then, when they have something to say, they move it in front and talk to the screen. yes, they are overly polite. ;)
the paradox of socks
in winter it gets cold, even in india, so women wear their sandals/flip flops with socks. why get covered shoes? better buy skin color split socks (not like socks with toes, but similar, as they have this split like the teenage ninja mutant turtles between big toe and rest of toes).
it looks darn funny, too. maybe it's the way they keep each other amused.
most indians i've met don't just take off their shoes when the situation asks for it. they take off everything. and by everything i mean their socks. they go bare on the foot. sometimes i wish they didnt.