anyways, rishikesh, this is what i want to tell you about. cause rishikesh is awesome. amazing. absolutely fantastic. and if you go out of rishikesh, say 30-something kms, and camp on a beach on the ganges, and relax, enjoy the sun, realize the water you're drinking comes from the river so you panic a little and move to beer, but just lie there in the sun, friends around you, games and laughs, then you get on a raft the next day to go back the 30-something kms to rishikesh on the river, you and 8 more people, ready for adventure, you're all excited but feel pretty confident in the same time, i mean, you ARE wearing a life vest and a helmet, nothing can happen to you, you're in a raft, going on rapids, with your friends, on the mighty ganges, you feel awesome.
you feel absolutely awesome, to be more exact, till you hit the wall (this crazy, foaming, really upset rapid), your raft flips over, people fall on you, you feel one of mother ganga's hands pulling you down into the water, time just stands still for the 5 seconds you're under there, then your life jacket spits you up again, you are scared, very scared, there are no words to describe how scared you are, but you're happy to be up, for a second there you never thought you'd see the light of day, and actually all those thoughts are not running through your head, the only thought that is there is that you still can't breathe, you're gasping like an animal for one single, relieving breath of air, but you can't make it, you hold on to your paddle, like that's gonna save you, you see the people in your boat floating away, asking you if you're ok and you're not but you can't tell them, you will be ok once you breathe again and maybe hit land, which you will soon and all this panicking will not seem reasonable, but for some reason, some crazy, mysterious reason, it will seem like you were born again.
and that's how i, in the attempt to conquer all my fears, have been forced to just face them. for now. ha ha, charade you are.